Purpose.
That's it. I think I understand my purpose. I need to clear my mind and open my eyes so that I can better see how the world works, so that I can better imagine how it should work, and so that I can figure out how to get it there.

That's the only good reason for me to care about mysticism. Everything else is just an empty mind game.

It's so simple. It's like the world has been shouting that at me all this time. There have been signs everywhere. I've either looked right past them, or arrogantly disregarded them.

So simple. I should have known that all along.

I couldn't have known. I wasn't shown this by all the people I expected to show me these things. They knew there was something, and they tried to express that, but they didn't understand it. They couldn't express it. Understanding it is my job. Man, all that pain. All those fights, all those disappointments, all that confusion, all that wasted time.

Just because I didn't understand myself.

But I didn't understand myself. I didn't, and it's just that simple. And I never would have come to understand any of this without all of those "empty mind games." That's worth remembering.

I am self-constructing, as all humans should be. As all humans should know they are. As all humans could know they are. As all humans can know they are.

I still have a lot to learn about myself and about the world. But at least I know why I'm doing it now, and I trust myself to find the next step. I can do this.

I might have a long way to go. That's okay.

It should be fun.