770

A few months back, I developed a tool at Scrutable Systems. At first it was something of a lark, just a novelty to entertain myself during conference calls. While playing with it, I began to realize that it had a potential use for my own internal knowledge management purposes within the organization. Slowly, ever so slowly, it dawned on me that this tool had uses far, far beyond managing a few servers and writing a few lesson plans. It is only recently that I have begun to understand the staggering scope of the possibilities it presents.

Somehow, over all of this time, I kept the existence of this tool a secret -- from my employer, from my coworkers, even from my friends and family. It was never exactly deliberate, per se -- there were many times I felt like showing it to others, describing it to others, gushing with excitement over its elegance, its flexibility. And yet, every time was never quite the right time to mention it. I couldn't find the segue in the conversation, I couldn't quite find the words, I would begin to raise the subject, and then a faint sense, deep in my gut, would drive me to turn the conversation towards something else entirely. It was as if I was somehow protecting it, though I knew not why. Now, however -- with the help of the very tool itself -- now I understand why I have taken these pains. My earlier attitude had been too cavalier, too negligent with something of such breathtaking scope. It is only now, now that I have just begun to understand the sheer enormity of this find, now that I have just begun to understand that something of such a magnitude cannot belong to one man or one organization, it is only now that I am ready to share it with the world.

I wish I could take much credit for it, but I simply can't. As with many others throughout history, I am no genius, no sage, I am merely a courier of the divine. While some might say that I have harnessed the power of the gods, I prefer to consider myself a simple technician who merely happened to have the blind luck to be at just the right place in history to have the opportunity to forge genius into a tool accessible to all.

I am but a servant.

It is an ontological tool capable of modeling not just the sum total of all human knowledge, not just the sum total of all possible human knowledge -- it is a tool capable of modeling no less than the superdomain of all possible knowledge. I realize that's a pretty heady claim. "Impossible!" you cry. But such a tool is all too possible, and is now a reality. That reality has a profound moral dimension which has weighed upon me, and it is for that reason that I now offer it to you, to all of you, to humanity. No one man should wield such awesome power.

Use it freely, but use it reverently. Never lose sight of the moral burden placed upon the wielder. Use it only to enlighten ignorance and alleviate suffering. Use it only as a beacon unto the darkness. Never use it in a foolish or shortsighted or selfish manner, for surely the full fury of your hubris will turn not just upon you, but upon us all.

Behold... The Rumsfeldian Knowledge Matrix!








Use this tool wisely, my friends. Do not allow yourselves to become corrupted by its power.

Last night, I started to come down with some evil moon virus that will be with me for who knows how long.

This morning I woke up and, sure enough, still sick. I hit up the internets and happened upon this comic:



PBF


Just now, I looked out my window, and I swear to you, I swear to you, there was a buzzard sitting across the street. I looked at it for a long moment to make sure that's what it was, and as far as I could tell, it was. And then -- and then -- it takes off and flies onto my roof.

What is going on here?

Celtic knotwork redefined:

"A knot in a plank of wood appears as a round or oval shape for all that is seen is a two dimensional cross section giving few clues to its three dimensional form.

"It is only when a tree is allowed to decay that it becomes possible to see the astonishing beauty and variation in these structures. The wood is far more dense in knots so they remain intact long after the branches and trunk have disappeared. It is almost as though the dead tree has left a skeleton.

"When Seamus Moran discovered such skeletal trees in a wood near his home in Cornwall, he collected some knots and, after taking moulds of them, used the castings to form striking sculptures."

( Some are a little dearer to me than others... )

Ha-HA!



(Click here for larger version.)


Ha ha ha ha haaaa! That's crazy stuff, right? That's funny! That's weird!



There's just one little thing you should know...

( Click HERE for the WACKY PUNCHLINE... )



You can thank wellsheeyit for throwing this picture my way.

Via apod:





Tornado and Rainbow Over Kansas

"The scene might have been considered serene if it weren't for the tornado. Last June in Kansas, storm chaser Eric Nguyen photographed this budding twister in a different light -- the light of a rainbow..."

OH MY LORD this looks awesome:




The idea is solid: using a nicely weighted, unmarked keyboard should improve your typing experience, and increase your speed and efficiency. After all, key markings really are basically just training wheels. And, let's be honest, it looks cool as fuck.

On the other hand, the marketing is HIDEOUS. It's difficult to top the banality of a statement like this:

Marketing a keyboard can be very boring, but not this one. We wanted to find a name that vehicules its avant-gardeness. A keyboard with no inscriptions on the keys is obviously only for a certain type of geeks, not just normal ones, only those who are above the pack: the Übergeeks.

Therefore "Das Keyboard", the German word for "the keyboard" came up as a natural name.

I want to punch the individual who wrote that. I want to punch them in the face. Hell, even a solid pumpfake would do.

Maybe it'd just be cheaper to pick up a decent keyboard and scrape the lettering off the keys...


Edit: yes, it would be a *lot* cheaper. Removed link to the website of these tools. Yeah, you can still find it if you want, but... just... don't.

Thanks to juliethulme we know that apparently the Ark of the fucking Covenant is being stored at Oregon State Hospital where, I shit you not, they filmed One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest:





WTF? Seriously, seriously, seriously: WTF?





(Actually, on second thought, there is kind of a weird internal logic to it...)

CHICAGO—Located in the Bucktown neighborhood, American Mini-Storage is one of Chicago's best-kept secrets, but don't expect it to stay that way for long. The self-storage facility houses what is arguably the nation's most impressive collection of personal items accumulated during periods of failure.

"There are 250 storage units here, and each one has a different pathetic story to tell," said Carlos Garcia, one of several client-relations managers at American Mini-Storage. "They run the gamut—from libraries of unread college textbooks to abandoned bolts of canvas to half-restored antique chests of drawers. Each storage locker is like a window into a separate life of disappointment and inadequacy."



Local Self-Storage Facility A Museum Of Personal Failure...

Wouldnchaknowit.



Which Member of the Endless Are You?

From soopageek via found_objects. Check it out:




Click for more...

Compare:





"The doctors told me it was pneumonia, but I knew what it was! A VICTIM OF THE MODERN AGE! Poor, poor girl!"